You never really know how you will deal with a situation until faced with it head on. From the outside looking in at a friend or family member’s relationship, you can easily say what you will or will not do and what you will and won’t put up with.
I’ve done it, and I’m sure many of you have observed other relationships and said to yourself, “I wouldn’t take that if I were her.” Instead of criticizing and giving unwanted input at that time to the person you are observing, that would be a perfect opportunity to self reflect. Observe and think to yourself “do I act like that?” Analyze the flaws in what you are seeing. If those issues pop out at you to make you shake your head, think for one moment whether or not that’s something you also do when you are arguing with your mate.
No one is perfect, but if you take the time to realize and change your mistakes and correct negative behavior, you may have saved one day of you life from unnecessary arguing.
An example:
I was out running errands, and stopped to fill up my tank. I get out of the car only to hear a young interracial couple arguing in public with a screaming child in the background and the only thing they are concerned about is who can yell the loudest. She’s slamming doors, the child is screaming obviously from lack of attention or in need of a diaper change or bottle. He’s more frustrated, but composed because all he can seem to think about is how to calm his irate girlfriend, screaming child, and get away from any further embarrassment.
Unfortunately when we are in heated discussions, we tend to forget our surroundings and we are only concerned with HOW WE FEEL. Loudly stating your position, whether you are right or wrong, is overkill and only shows you know how to overtalk. Talking loudly doesn’t mean you are talking sensibly.
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